I Don't Know Anymore...

Have you ever been stuck in a situation where you feel like no matter what you do or no matter what you say, someone is going to get hurt? Or you are afraid you may lose them as a friend? Well, I'm there. I'm back in high school and the sad part is that I am sure I could have avoided it. This is bound to happen when you have friends of different ages but I wish it didn't. As mature as we would all like to think we are, we aren't.

I sit here and look back on how I have handled things but I don't know if I would have done it any different. I don't want to lose friends because I am afraid to stand up for what I believe in and I also don't want my friends to think that they can manipulate me to do whatever they want. (If you didn't know, I have had friends in the past who have done this to me or in other words I have allowed them to do it to me.) I want to stop this vicious cycle but in the process I fear that I can come off as heartless and unrelenting. :-( That's not who I am! I love all my friends. Even if we aren't on the best of terms. I just don't want to have to always be the understanding one who bends every time.

I am struggling with whether this is pleasing to God or not or if I am handling this in the best way possible. I don't know. For once in my life I just wish someone else would make an effort instead of me having to do it all! Now, don't get me wrong. It's not like I don't try but if it's a one-way street here, me giving and them taking, that's when I get frustrated. :-/

Ugh! Sorry for venting but it had to be done and I figure this was the best way to do it. Please pray for me.